sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
