so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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