Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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