i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
