once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
