GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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