fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
