Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
