I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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