I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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