Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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