hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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