Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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