i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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