Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
