Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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