I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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