girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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