Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
