yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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