just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize