We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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