everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize