ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
