Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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