I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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