Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
COCAINE IS GR8
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
