Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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