I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
it's like heaven, but drunker
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize