I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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