I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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