I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
