is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
