whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
