I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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