I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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