the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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