PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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