Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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