Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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