Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
