I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
