3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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