I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
