sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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