What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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