just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
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I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
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Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.