ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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