There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
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Let's paint friendship bongs
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
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If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...