for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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