just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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