Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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