im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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