you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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