We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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