no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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