I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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