YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
