oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
