i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize