we're chasing vodka with high fives
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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