white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
