He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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