did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
